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pigsy
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Name: C a t F a n
Interests: Music. Rain. Ice Cream. B&W photos. Digital photography. Scrapbook. Cakes. Controversial issues. Passion tea. Tulips. Praying for world peace.
Expertise: Smiling
Occupation: Enginerd
Industry: Engineering
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/22/2003
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| The year 2009 wasn't a good year for me, I've had way too many downs than ups, almost to the point of disappointment, but then it's not the end of the world, I'm keeping my head up for a better year.
Family:
-Hang out with my family a lot more than all the years I was in college and working combined
-By being close to them, I got to understand each and everyone better. Sometimes they drive me crazy, but at the same time, I appreciate them a lot more.
-Met my grandma and extended family in VN after 19 years being away, established real relationships with them rather than just hearing about them. Everyone seems OK, pretty friendly.
Work:
-At the beginning of the year, I got a 5% raise when everyone else got laid off
-Few months later, I got crossed off the list
-Haven't had much luck with the job relating to my field, so I'm venturing to something else relatively close just for survival's sake.
-Got some interviews, but don't look too promising. We'll see.
Health:
-I don't feel as energetic as last year. Had a few mental break-downs and cried my eye-balls out. I need a mentality check.
-I didn't come down with anything severe this year, fewer doctor visits. Last year I had this uncontrollable, on-going cough for six months, did all sort of check-ups and tests, and the results came out negative. I ignored it for a while, and towards Summer the cough completely stopped. Haven't gone down with anything since. Thank God.
-Exercise a lot more. Haven't lost an ounce. ):
Personal:
-I feel lonelier
-I'm not as happy as I've once was
-I worry a lot more
-For a while I wanted to change career to the health-care industry, but that didn't get to fall through. Still think my personalities are better fit for it. Who knows what the future holds.
-I have a harder time falling asleep at night.
-I'm worn out
Relationship:
-Started a long-distance relationship with An in March. The distance is killing me sometimes, but it's something I have to live with
-Had our arguments here and there, mainly because I'm not completely happy with how things are going, can't expect too much when neither of our lives have stabilized.
-Despite how unhappy I feel at times, I'm still thankful for having him by my side to cheer me up, and to love me for me.
Friends:
-Haven't gained too many, if anything, I think I've lost some, which the way it should be
-Became closer to few of my friends, always a good thing
Travel:
-Went to New Orleans in March to help An settle in
-Went to New Orleans in July to visit An, and took a ten-hour road-trip to visit his parents' in GA
-Went to Vietnam to visit grandma
Charity:
-Donated a total of $400 (to viet toc and various Catholic charity organizations), $100 came from Rosieyatch.com for winning the contest, and the rest prior to and during the lay-off.
Wedding:
-Got invited to six weddings
-Turned down one due to the VN trip
-Being bridesmaid for two of my good friends. Great experiences!
Money:
-Lost 40% of my 401k
-Lost my job, no income. Enough said.
-Being thrifty is the way to go.
My lessons:
-Nothing is absolute
-Time is not a factor, it's time management
-Life is short, treasure what's present
-The lamest job beats bumming at home any day
-Talk is cheap, anyone can talk. Actions speak louder.
-Trust your instinct
Regardless of what I've been dealing with, I'm thankful for my dearest ones for being there for me. Thank you!
Happy 2010 to everyone! Hopefully it'll be a sweet one this year for all of us.
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| I'd rather be outside meeting crazy people than staying at home and drive myself crazy..
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| So, I'm going back to the Mother Land in a less than a week. It's an urgent trip, I had to drop my Microbio class, yes, after all that hard work trying to get in. But I figured it's not my priority right now, I can always take it again. The only regret is I've been doing so well in it, and I hate dropping classes [one of my pet peeves]. Oh well, I can always try again if I don't get a job in the near future.
I can't wait to see my grandma. I can't wait to cook for her, feed her, massage her back, tell her stories of where I've been, in which I can only wish she can understand half of it. I just can't wait to see her again. I really hope it's not flooding too much in VN right now, it's the most horrible time to be back, but sometimes, you just have to do what's right.
Please keep my grandma in your prayers. Thank you.
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| ..I really could use one, no..maybe two right about now. I realized I haven't smiled in days. I'm not easily amused as I used to, I stop smiling at strangers, I don't say Hello to everyone in sight anymore, I don't water the plants, I stop refilling more food to our little hamster. I've stopped doing a lot of things that I used to do at a natural impulse, like scratch when one itches. I can't seem to concentrate on the things that need my attention at this moment - I feel exhausted and lost.
I wonder if this feeling will ever go away...
I'm kind of tired of being hopeful, maybe I should just let it be. Maybe if I practice smiling at everyone again, it'll make me feel better? But then again, smile doesn't mean I'm happy.
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| I'm in a turmoil of mixed feelings, I'm happy to still be in love and loved by a wonderful man, but yet, I couldn't help but to wish to see his face at my door at this very moment -- it would be ooh soo fine. But I can only wish...
 Happy 730 days (and counting) together.. (: Counting my blessings..
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